Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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