Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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