very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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