I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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