He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
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You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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