R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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