I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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