What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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