Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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