i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize