i think my tv is drunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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