I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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