y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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