This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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