I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize