3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize