Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My vagina just clenched in fear
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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