Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize