there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish you could order shots online.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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