So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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