lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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