y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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