remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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