I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize