and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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