i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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