I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize