The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think my moral compass just broke
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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