belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize