Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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