so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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