My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
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not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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