you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You've changed since you got that strap on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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