umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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