what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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