It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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