we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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