quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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