going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize