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All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize