I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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