So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
did i just pee glitter
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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