he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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