It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize