I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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