you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
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Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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