sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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