no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize