Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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