Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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